10 Extreme Steps of Humiliating Romantic Plans
by MishaMETAL
Summary: Eriol has the hots for his best friends cousin, and Sakura makes it her life goal to bring them together, but will he be able to live through her neurotic behaviour first? twoshot... witness Sakura's torturing in second chapter.
1. 10 Extreme Steps

**10 Extreme Steps of Humiliating Romantic Plans**

Sakura was a unique girl and found life imaginably humorous. She didn't make a habit of being serious, she found it boring and she didn't like to think life was too realistic. In most ways, she was a guy at heart, because she made best friends with the male population her whole life and the only girl friend she ever had was her cousin, Tomoyo Daidouji.

Her goal in life was to be as happy as happy could give her. Whatever came her way she adored and everybody, including her cat, noticed this as the biggest part of her charm. She was sarcastic and loyal and had a lot of pride.

Her best friend was Eriol Hiiragizawa, who unfortunately had the hots for her cousin, was a complicated fellow. He found it unnecessarily amusing to taunt his best friend, who was also his cousin, and liked to be a smartass ninety-nine percent of the time. But the duty that was put in the hands of Sakura was to tame his inner beast by reminding him of his humiliating secrets she threatened to tell Miss Daidouji.

"Can we _not_ do this?" Eriol proposed one charming day as Sakura made him to follow her out of school during classes.

"I told you, if you want to win the heart of my wonderful and beautiful cousin you have to woo her with the things I _know_ she'll want."

"And what are these _things_?"

"You'll see." Was Sakura's witty remark as a smirk played at her lip, and she continued to drag him along by his tie.

-

"You have got to be _kidding me_."

"Oh hush up." Sakura told him as she bought the unreasonably smallest men's underwear Eriol had ever set his eyes on before—with _his_ money too.

On the way to the food court of their local mall Eriol made it his special time to sulk and pout over his best friends antics and decided to ask her to pay him back by buying him food.

"Thank you so much Eriol that was very generous of you." Sakura smiled up at him playfully as she sat down with her extremely large tray of ordered food.

_You're welcome for robbing me of the last of my money and threatening me with you're extremely large fist._

"So what's this plan you're so wanting me to use?" Eriol struck for conversation as he tried to block out the horrifying scene in front of him.

Sakura abruptly stopped gulfing down her food as she looked up at him with the largest glint in her eye. _Oh shit I'm blinded by the light… and I'm going to die…not to mention the humiliation_.

"The one thing I know Tomoyo dreams of is a bad boy, what other girl besides me doesn't? So I'm going to give you the biggest makeover of your life."

"Wait," Eriol put his hand up to interrupt, "bad boy? What the hell kind of plan is this? I don't want to have to lie to her in order to win her heart, just so she can find out and give me the biggest rejection of my life… I'm not cut out for that kind of shit Sakura, you know that."

"And you're not just cut out for this shit, you should get the biggest pussy award of the year," Sakura rolled her eyes at him as she took another unnaturally large bite of her burger.

Eriol used this time of silence to rejoice over the image of her death in his mind.

"I'm just going to polish you up some, that's all. If you can't even trust your own best friend how the hell are you going to go through life without me?"

_Oh, I think I could manage._

"Listen, do you want me to help or not? Because I can just leave you to go back to your 'anonymous lover from a distance' routing again if you want me to."

"'Anonymous lover from a distance'? Where the hell do you come up with this shit?"

"My mind, what else?" Another roll of the eyes again and Eriol knew she was back to her unusual sarcastic self again and he couldn't help but smile at her antics. No matter how cruel she can be at times like these, she somehow couldn't make anyone really hate her. She had an unnatural charm he'd ever seen and even if he gets cruel images of her in his mind every now and then he still loves her all the same.

Eriol sighed, "Alright as long as it's not too over the top and still 'Eriol'."

Sakura gave a gleeful screech and started rambling on her plan, "First things first… we got to get you some contacts."

-

"Ok Sakura, What's two-thousand times two?" Tomoyo asked after they got into an argument because Sakura denied the fact that she humiliated Tomoyo in the classroom by yelling to her across the room asking her how good she likes her bad boys in bed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like a smart ass to you? I don't understand math in the slightest." Sakura knew Tomoyo knew this and she gave her a sideways glance of victory, "Tough luck hunny, but that'll never work on my enormous pride. I know what I am and I could give two shits less about my flaws." The grin on her face was enormous.

Tomoyo shrugged, "At least I know what guffaw means." She smirked and gave a side ways glance at a dumbstruck Sakura.

"What the fuck!" She whined, "Everybody knows what that word means but me. It sounds like its describing a large shit coming after a huge orgy."

Tomoyo found it hard to hold the laughter in and fell to the floor out of impact the laugh made to her chest as she cried with the immense laughter. Sakura started giggling at her cousin on the floor and let it continue to grow as she helped her silly ass off the floor.

"You're a fucking loser, you know that."

-

"I got to admit, I look _good_."

"Yeah I know I'm just that good."

"But maybe I should wear my glasses, the contacts are itchy and the glasses are more _me_."

"Nahh, this is a more shagged out hunky look, it's what she likes."

"But Sakura-"

"No buts!"

Eriol continued to stare at himself in the large mirror as he studied the look Sakura gave him. All he wore were jeans and a dark T-shirt with a rebel necklace and his hair was down and untamed. He already missed his normal polished look. Right now he looked like the cowboy rebel and unshaven; Sakura made him throw his shaving cream and razor out the garbage three days before. His eyebrow rose.

"Sakura, remind me again _why_ she even _likes_ this type?"

"Because it's sexy."

Eriol rolled his eyes as he turned around to face her, "I'm serious."

Sakura stopped looking through the magazine she used for inspiration and looked up at him. She had that serious regal look to her now and Eriol knew she was going to explain better.

"Somehow, and I'm also saying this with experience, we girls find it alluring when we see a mysterious rebel looking guy with a dark past. I don't know what it is, something psychological I suppose, but it's something a lot of us like."

Eriol looked back at the mirror for a moment, "This reminds me of Syaoran a lot."

"That cousin you're always making fun of? Why?"

"You just described him, only he doesn't have a dark past, he's just extremely unsocial and dislikes crowds." When Eriol looked back at her he noticed she looked somewhat dreamy and it surprised him, "Ahh getting a little excited now? Imagining what my dear cousin looks like and how he might look like nak-"

"Come off it." Sakura returned to her normal self and shoved her nose in the magazine again. Eriol chuckled as he walked over and sat beside her.

"So, besides what I look like, are you also planning to teach me how to act around her? Can I act myself or do I have to pretend?" Eriol had a disturbing look in his eye as if doing exactly this sickened him.

Sakura giggled, "I don't suppose you have to act the part if you don't want to, and I know for a fact you guys are meant for each other, and I'm just giving you a head start." She smirked as she watched him blush.

"It's not like I want to marry her… at least not yet."

"Oh come on, she's lookin' mighty cute lately… let her touch your penis."

Eriol took the privilege to snatch the magazine out of her hands, roll it up and smacked her in the head with it.

Several times.

-

"I want you to know, I love you."

Tomoyo's eyes were as wide as her china set as she stared down at the ridiculous Sakura bent over one knee, begging with her hands clapped together for forgiveness.

"Oh, come off it Sakura. I told you I forgive you already for that incident in the classroom."

"No this is different, I've done something worser." Sakura played her extreme fake pout.

"Oh. My. God. What did you do?"

Sakura bit her lip, "I broke your Camcorder." She said in a small voice and she covered her ears when Tomoyo screeched the loudest squeal of terror she'd ever heard.

"I'm going to fucking _kill_ you!"

Tomoyo chased Sakura around the house for hours on end.

"I said I loved you, what more do you want from me! So you love your precious Camcorder more than your own flesh and blood? You of all people should understand how much I couldn't control myself in its presence; you should have taken it with you when you left your room for only a moment! The temptation was too great!"

-

"Hey Tomoyo." Sakura lay on her side of Tomoyo's bed later that night in the pitch dark as her and her cousin discussed things as they usually did on their Saturday night sleepovers at Tomoyo's mansion. Oh yes, I forgot to mention—Tomoyo's filthy rich.

"Yeah."

"What is it that you _really_ want in a man?"

Tomoyo took the liberty to mull this over for a good five minutes, "I suppose I want him to be loyal, funny, easy-going and not complicated."

_Shit. Eriol's plenty of complication_.

"When I think about it, I don't really know what I want in a man, because I'm not going to fall in love with someone I think up, that's not how it goes."

_Sure, that's helps._

"What do you want?"

_Syaoran._

Yes, Eriol showed her a picture of his cousin the other day and found him exquisitely gorgeous but wouldn't admit it to Eriol at the time. She decided to try and describe him the best she could, even though she's never met him before; she's willing to risk it.

"Gorgeous."

Tomoyo started laughing.

"What?"

"That's all you care about? All you want in a guy is that he's gorgeous?"

"_No_."

"Well…?"

"Gorgeous as in 'inside and out'."

"Oh, I see." Tomoyo said this in an extremely sarcastic voice.

"You wanna go?"

"Bring it on."

And so they started throwing pillows at each other in the dark; do not try this at home.

-

"What do you say, we go out?" Sakura leaned across the table and put her face up close and personal to Tomoyo's as she tried reading the morning paper.

"Where would we go?"

Sakura shrugged, "Mickey's."

Tomoyo slowly looked up, "Oh no, do you know how much I've tried to make a living of this diet? This will ruin me."

"I hear they've doubled the amount of ice cream in sundaes." Sakura grinned as she watched Tomoyo's eyes darken and narrow.

"I hate you."

-

As they entered the extremely busy Mickey's Sakura tried looking over heads.

"What are you doing?" Came Tomoyo's inquisitive tone.

"Counting how many hot guys there are." Sakura easily lied.

While they stood in line, Sakura made a mental note to hit Eriol for not being visible. Soon she finally found him and smirked as a thought came to mind. When the line moved Sakura waited until Eriol was close enough for her to make a move.

When she found her chance Sakura shoved Tomoyo ingeniously towards Eriol and watched as he caught her unexpectedly, giving her a glare as he spoke his apologies.

"Oh, Thank you," Tomoyo started as she used him for support and stood on her own two feet again until she made eye contact with him. Eriol stared back for a moment before he came to his senses, "No problem."

He sent a nasty glare Sakura's way and watched her shrug comically and mouthed the words, "I slipped" before looking back down at Tomoyo as he let her go once she was again grounded.

-

"It's been two weeks and they're already dating." Sakura laughed into the phone.

Eriol watched into the room, waved at Sakura and put his coat on the coat rack before sitting down.

Sakura suddenly got a glimmer in her eye and she eyed Eriol as she spoke into the phone, "Oh, I suppose it's happened. I'm damn sure of it… I found, to my displeasure, a used condom under Tomoyo's sheets this morning while she was having a shower."

Sakura walked onto the bed as Eriol charged after her. While she giggled into the phone she helplessly tried to get away from Eriol but found her attempt was smashed to oblivion as he came on top of her and started tickling her.

"I'm sorry Ayumi," Sakura said between giggles, "But I got to go, love you, bye."

Once she pressed the button on the phone she screamed in laughter as she pried herself from his hands.

"Serves you right," Eriol said as he brushed his fingers through his hair. "Quit telling lies to our friends."

"Oh come on," Sakura pouted, "It's so much fun expressing my deepest love and affection for my two best friends."

"It definitely shows."

"So where were you guys today? And where's Tomoyo gone?"

"Lunch and Kitchen."

"Huh?" Sakura made a face.

"We went out to lunch, and she's in the Kitchen."

"What the hell's she in the kitchen for?"

"I don't know, to speak to her mother I suppose."  
Suddenly, Sakura's eyes widened before she ran out the door, leaving Eriol to ponder on her odd actions.

-

"No Tomoyo! You mustn't!" Sakura through the kitchen doors open and pushed herself to her knees so she could helplessly beg for mercy—again.

"What the hell?" Tomoyo said from the table her and her mother sat.

"Don't make your mother not make her famous chocolate chip cookies again, it's unfair. You know I love them so much, I treated you to that sundae the day you met Eriol! You vile, unloving cousin."

"What the hell are you talking about Sakura?"

Sakura opened her eyes to stare up at the two women and stood up. "What do you mean what am I talking about?"

"Why the hell would you assume I'd do something like that? I've never done that before."

Sakura blinked. "You haven't?"

"No."

Sakura's face twisted as she tried to remember why it was so familiar that Tomoyo would do this. And then it hit her—or more like a potato hit her in the back of the head.

"Ow."

"Sorry!" Came the maid's apology, but Sakura secretly knew she did it on purpose.

"Damn it! Why the fuck do I always imagine that my nightmares are real?"

"Because you're stupid."

Sakura glared at her cousin.

"I'll remember that one," She said as she pointed a finger towards Tomoyo as she started to turn around, "You better watch your back."

"I'll be watching with love, love." Tomoyo grinned, and Sakura grinned back as she went back to the room.

-

Sakura sighed.

"What's wrong?" Eriol asked monotonously.

"My life sucks."

"You just realized that?"

Sakura glared.

"I suppose I have good news that will cheer you up."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Her voice was equally monotonous.

"My dear cousin's coming to visit." He grinned as she got a face like a surprised child.

"So I'll get to meat him? Will you hook us up just like I hooked you and _my_ dear cousin up? Are you going to return the favor?"

Eriol laughed, "Of course," He said as her smile grew bigger, "But first things first…we got to work on you're unpolished antics…"

**Fin**


	2. Not Quite 10 Extreme Steps

There wasn't much about Eriol Hirigizawa except for that fact that he was a sharp man with intelligence unknown to mankind

**Not Quite 10 Extremely Steps of Humiliating Romantic Plans**

There wasn't much to Eriol Hiirigizawa except for that fact that he was a sharp man with intelligence unknown to mankind. He was a mysterious man with a mischief mind….okay, so maybe there was a lot to him. He drove his cousin mad and his girlfriend was actually giving him ideas on his vile plans. Of course, this didn't startle Sakura in the least…this was how she could tell they were perfect for each other – they were both evil people when it came to invading others lives; which of course now she regrets ever bringing them together.

Sakura found herself in a situation she'd never expected herself to ever be in and she was struggling with all her might to release herself.

"Hold still Sakura!" Tomoyo pleaded as she continued on Sakura's dress.

"Eriol!" Sakura screamed, wanting him to walk around the curtain so she could smack him, not caring if he seen her half naked.

"Yes, my dear Sakura?" He didn't budge from his spot behind the curtain.

Sakura hated that voice, the one where he mocked and tormented her when she could not reach and strangle him.

"Get me out of this mother fucker now! What the hell does this have to do with my attitude problem anyway?" Sakura gasped as Tomoyo tightened further on the contraption around Sakura's torso.

"It's just a little discipline we need to work on. And it's obvious that we have not reached our mark yet, so you will have to endure it longer." Eriol was proud with himself and he smirked at the way she seethed at him.

When Tomoyo finished the last string and tied it all up Sakura's eyes fell out of her head, "FUCK I CAN'T BREATH!"

"If you're able to speak, you're able to breathe." Eriol said calmly as he licked his thumb to turn the page of his magazine with a satisfied smile on his face.

Sakura was about to die and she knew it. Her best friend wasn't REALLY her best friend, he was always an enemy and she never saw it… he was planning this from the very beginning and she hated herself for not noticing it soon enough. He was going to suffocate her, throw her in a huge ugly, smelly, used body bag and throw her in the river with the sharks.

"C'mon now Sakura, let's walk around and show Eriol now." Tomoyo's little over-sweetened voice had said behind her and Sakura complied, knowing that she would see the man who was about to murder her so she could jump him herself before he could finish her off.

"Oh, don't you look dashing. My little cousin will swoon over you in less than a heartbeat, I am sure of it." Eriol said this; fully aware that Sakura was slowly walking towards him, obviously at the lack of oxygen it took her a while to actually walk two steps until she was right in front of him.

She went to punch him but her lack of oxygen was the cause of her slow movement and Eriol dodged it without effort.

"Damn it! Eriol, for fuck sakes get me out of this corset before I die!"

"Now, now Sakura, you've got to learn how to control that attitude of yours before I do that."

"Get me out of this contraption," Sakura started with gritted teeth, "right now or you will find yourself incapable of having children."

Behind them Tomoyo was snickering.

Eriol was tapping his chin with his finger in thought as he pouted at Sakura, "We have our work cut out for us, I think, aren't I right dear?"

Tomoyo chuckled as she came forward, completely summoned by her master. "There's no need to worry. I've got a few tricks under my sleeve that she has never witnessed before."

And this is where you insert evil laughter.

Sakura was literately hyperventilating now, yet her two best friends weren't concerned in the least; too caught up in their evil plans to notice her health.

Then Sakura had a thought and she jogged as fast she could around the standing curtain to snatch her jeans. Shoving her hand in her pocket she grabbed her switch blade and turned to see if she was being watched, careful to hide the switch blade from sight. Then when she was sure no one was looking she cut the corset off, gasped the air and quickly pulled her shirt and pants on and ran for the door.

"Quick! She's escaped!" Sakura heard Tomoyo scream and this only fueled her engine as she ran faster.

Running to the kitchen she found Tomoyo's mother and thought about asking her to hide her, but another thought occurred her and she had a disturbing vision…

"_Please, please, please hide me!" Sakura bagged as she bent down on her knees._

_Tomoyo's mother had an evil glint in her eye, only for a second until she agreed and hid her._

"_Mother!" Tomoyo said as her and Eriol dramatically entered the room looking disheveled. "Have you seen Sakura?"_

"_Oh, why yes I have my dear. She's right over here." And she gestured with her hands and led them the way._

_Sakura was so astonished that she didn't say anything for a moment until she was being dragged through the doors by Eriol and Tomoyo, who were snickering as if they have managed to get someone who had been on the run for years._

"_No! How could you, you evil woman! I've trusted you! You're vile! What have I ever done to you? Okay, that time when I broke your favorite vase – it was Tomoyo's fault! I swear it! C'mon I didn't mean what I said about your ugly dog over there I was just speaking my mind, you can't hate me for that can you?" and so her voice faded as she was dragged back to the dungeon and Tomoyo's mother was laughing evilly as she listened to her screams of torture._

"Oh shit! Evil woman! How could I ever have trusted you?" Sakura pointed at her aunt before she ran for the other door, leaving a very confused mother standing alone in the kitchen with her maids.

As Sakura ran through the streets of Tomoeda she had an image of Syaoran pop back into her head and she paused for breath.

_Oh, what a beautiful face_. She thought to herself and she looked back and saw no one coming after her.

Her reality had disappointed her yet again, her two best friends turned on her and she had no one now except for the leaf that had just floated onto her head.

"Hello little green leaf, I suppose I have to seek your guidance now that I'm all alone in this world. I have no one else to run to."

And so she sat there on the park bench speaking to the leaf as random people walked by and gave her stares of resentment, some of worry and most – let's face it… dirty glares.

"It's just not fair, I do something for him and make his life wonderful now that I've brought them both together, and he repays me with this?" She paused as a thought came to her, "Maybe he's getting back at me for that time I sabotaged his soup and made him deathly ill. But that wasn't my fault! If he hadn't gave my sexy underwear to the biggest nerd of the school so he could come up to me in the middle of public with it in his hands and be all gross to me and humiliated me in front of all those people I wouldn't have sabotaged his favorite soup."

The leaf blew away and Sakura watched it go in deep depression, "Fine, go ahead and laugh at me too…everyone else did that day."

And so she sat there and let the breeze play with her hair and soon she was shaking at the coldness.

Suddenly Sakura heard a noise, and it sounded awfully familiar. It sounded a lot like the music from Jaws and she got curious and turned around.

"Got ya!"

"Holy shit." Sakura said slowly as she gaped at the person behind her, and then she turned around and crossed her arms as she pouted, "Nope. I'm not going back, you can't make me."

"Oh Come on Sakura… you want to get together with hot sexy Syaoran don't you?" Tomoyo said as she sat down beside her.

"I don't really understand why I have to change myself just for him to like me anyways. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."  
"Well now I guess you understand how Eriol felt then huh?"

This struck Sakura like a lightning bolt to a metal post and she stared at Tomoyo, "That's different… I wasn't changing _him_; I was changing the way he looked just so you could notice him."

"It's still changing who he was. The way you dressed him wasn't who he was inside and he felt uncomfortable but he still did it to see me. That made me feel really special and I'm sure Syaoran will be really flattered when you two are together and you tell him all this…you owe him Sakura. Let him have some fun."

"If it involves my humiliation - hell no."

"You're humiliation doesn't matter to me." Eriol said from behind them as he leaned on the tree.

"Oh no?" Sakura sarcastically retorted as she watched him.

"Nope. It's you're discomfort that really intrigues me." And with his answer came a smirk as she scoffed.

"You are awfully alike, you and him."

"Excuse me." Sakura said as she turned to him again.

"Nothing…" he smirked as he walked over to them and gave his girlfriend a peck on the cheek.

"You don't see me muttering things about you…" Sakura said as she once again crossed her arms and turned away, "and I intend to make sure you never do hear what I say about you." She whispered shortly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Eriol's smirk widened and him and Tomoyo shared looks.

It turned awfully quiet tempted Sakura's suspicions further as she turned to look at them…but they were not there. Sakura started, and turned to search every side of her before she relaxed and hit her back to the bench. Then she jumped out of her seat and turned to look up in the tree, in case they were hiding there… but there were only copies of the leaf that had landed on her head earlier blowing in the wind.

Sakura made a face, as if she still could not loose her guard… she knew who these people were, they never backed down.

Sakura started to walk along the park again and watched the people playing with their dogs and children and some were just couples. She didn't want to wear things that weren't really her, but what Tomoyo said, made her think. She did owe him… but the thought of satisfying his guilty pleasure was incredibly unacceptable. It was _his_ decision to go along with her plans, why should _she_ bend her decisions just for him? He was in love with Tomoyo for a long time and he knew who she was. Sakura only saw a mere picture of this hottie named Syaoran Li and she was not in total love with him, how could she be, she hardly knew him! She felt that bending her decisions just for Eriol would mean that she was in love with Syaoran and it wasn't the truth, and if Eriol thought that she was it would be hell for a lifetime.

After pondering her life, which oddly seemed like flashbacks before death, Sakura thought of a possibility. She smirked as this idea of hers was such a simple plan it was so obviously evil and she knew that she would enjoy this. She would simply go along with his plans and not let him see the day of humiliating her.

When Sakura found Eriol he and Tomoyo were… okay so Sakura may not have wanted to see that so she made a noise to startle them out of their 'time' together.

Eriol smiled at Sakura "What brings you here my dearest friend?"

"Don't give me that right after I've seen such nasty things from you two… and stop giggling cousin, this should be an embarrassing moment for you!"

Tomoyo hid her continuous giggles with her hand.

"I come in peace."

Both Eriol and Tomoyo's eyebrows shot up as they both muttered, "That was random."

"Aren't I always random?" Sakura said as she sat down across from them. "I've decided to let you have your way with me."

Stunned silence and incredulous looks were sent Sakura's way.

"Not in that sense you dopes! I'll let you _try_ to change me… or _whatever_."

Eriol smiled, "Very well."

-

Eriol stood before Sakura. She looked up at him with terrified eyes when she realized that she wasn't so sure if her mischievous plan would work with this experience.

"I'll spare you the corset, since it cost so much and you've damaged the first one."

Sakura exhaled with gratification.

"I must see how natural you are with the sword."

Sakura's eyes almost fell out of her eye sockets as she stared up at his grinning face.

This was going to be hell.

-

Sakura breathed hard as she tried not to rip Eriol in two with the dangerous weapon in her hand.

There she was, not learning a thing of the ways of the sword when she was suppose to in order to win the attention of the one boy who looked appealing to her. How could she be learning when Eriol just about sliced her pants off of her? So, this was just another way to humiliate her eh? She would show him.

"Concentration is key." Eriol sang as his grin was that of satisfaction. He knew how angry she was at him and he was enjoying every minute of her discomfort.

"Go Eriol!" Tomoyo screamed on the sidelines with one of her created cheerleading suits on.

"Some friend she is." Sakura muttered before she stopped Eriol's swing of the sword.

Just when Sakura was getting the hang of it and was about to get Eriol to his knees he stopped.

"Time for tea." Eriol squeaked as he effortlessly swayed across the yard to the freshly made tea Tomoyo seemed to have theatrically place on the table. Sakura narrowed her eyes in suspicion and annoyance… it all seemed too routined.

Sakura growled as she watched them sip their cups like rich folks.

She smiled when an idea struck her and she quietly made her way over to the couple. When she was in position she cut the strings of both their pants and let them fall to the ground.

Watching Eriol and Tomoyo squeal and try hopelessly to pull their pants back up Sakura laughed evilly as she ran away in victory.

"Yeah mother fuckers! Beat that shit up if you can!"

-

"so you're saying you want me to wear that skimpy looking thing, " Sakura spoke as she pointed to the thin pieces of fabric also known as a bikini, " and walk around the beach just to experiment?"

"Absolutely." Tomoyo said as Eriol nodded. He refused to speak directly to Sakura after the incident with the pants.

"And why is this an experiment?"

Tomoyo and Sakura both looked to Eriol since this _was_ his idea. Eriol made a face.

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me it's to see if the male of our species will react? Are you saying that I'm _ugly_?" Sakura assumed as a vessel in her forehead started to pop uncontrollably.

It was obvious that Eriol was _trying_ not to smile but the edge of his mouth was twitching uncontrollably.

"You fucking bastard! I thought you were my friend, and you treat me like this?" Sakura screamed as she strangled Eriol similar to the way Homer Simpson strangled his brat son-of-a-bitch Bart.

Tomoyo only sighed as she watched her best friend treat her boyfriend as a piece of meat. She'd only get hurt if she interfered. Of course she loved Eriol to no end but it just wasn't worth having Sakura's evil temper explode upon her as well.

-

"_Dang_! That's not bad." Sakura smiled to her reflection. If you guessed right, I'm sure its pretty obvious that she agreed to the bikini plan.

"I'm so hot." Sakura grinned as she turned to her scheming friends.

_Fuck she's conceited_. Eriol thought as he slumped in his chair. Then when he had a look at her he realized the worst. _Shit what have I done… I've created a monster_.

Sakura had in fact an amazing body, and Eriol now realized what a mistake this plan had become. Boys would rape her.

"Hey! What the hell?" Sakura yelped as Eriol covered her up in the ugliest jacket of all time.

"Nope, sorry, wrong plan, I meant a martini, not bikini. Let's see how well you can hold martinis."

Sakura looked to Tomoyo expressionlessly, "Well at least he speaks to me now."

Tomoyo snickered.

"What's you're deal Eriol? You're acting strange… why the sudden change?" Sakura's eyebrow went up in suspicion… that's been happening a lot lately.

"Somehow Tomoyo got the meaning mixed up. She thought I meant a bikini when I really said martini."

"Hey, you said bikini!" Tomoyo argued, sending Eriol a death glare.

Sakura was speechless. Never before had they argued; they were always intoned with each others thoughts. Furthermore, Eriol was edgy and this was enough proof to say that something threw him off.

"Something's got you scared, I know it and you better not deny it because its hopeless when I've already got you figured out, so you better spill the beans now, and they better be messy, this should be good entertainment." Sakura smirked as she stared up at the dumbfounded Eriol. Tomoyo's head moved in closer because she too was interested on her boyfriend's sudden change of plan.

"You've got it all wrong girls." Eriol's eyes were closed as he simply threw his nose in the air like a spoiled brat.

Sakura sent Tomoyo a look that she would suddenly recognize and they both exchanged grins.

Before Eriol knew it he was sent to the floor with two girls tickling the hell out of him.

Eriol died.

-

Sakura and Tomoyo laughed hysterically as they rolled on the floor of Tomoyo's mansion.

The vessels in Eriol's head exploded for the fifteenth time in these long fifteen minutes they continued to laugh at him.

"I can't believe it." Sakura said between hard breathes as she clutched at her stomach.

"You were actually worried about something as trivial as that?" Tomoyo added with the same amount of breath as Sakura, also hugging her stomach.

"The almighty Eriol was frightened that Sakura would be raped by boys on the beach?" Sakura ended as they both roared in laughter again, clutching at each other this time.

Sakura's cat, which entered the room but a moment ago, seemed to be laughing along with them and Eriol made a personal note to hurt it later.

After they settled down a bit Tomoyo looked up at her lover, "you do realize this is Tomoeda and that the boys here are all shy little fuckers who would simply blush and look away right?"

Eriol stared at the ceiling and acted as if he never heard a word she had said.

Sakura sat up as well, her arm around Tomoyo's shoulder as she continued to snicker. She whipped her nose with her arm as she stared at Eriol's incredulous expression before she spoke to Tomoyo.

"I do believe his plans to change me have failed my sweet cousin."

"I do believe you are correct." Tomoyo snickered as she smiled lovingly up at her boyfriend. She stood up and made to sit on his lap.

"Don't be angry love; I suppose it's always impossible to change Sakura. At least you were able to torture her a little."

"Ha! He never tortured me; I'll never see the day." Sakura smiled in glory.

Eriol looked down at Sakura in a glare and she knew she was in trouble.

Sakura ran for her life as Eriol charged after her with a steak knife.

-

"Oh my god! When the _fuck_ will he get here?" Sakura complained as she leaned over the seat in the car.

"Stop drooling on the leather Sakura, you're disgusting!" Eriol yelled at her.

"His plan should have landed right around this time so be patient Sakura." Tomoyo said.

"How the fuck can I be patient Tomoyo, he's taking too long. Why did we come so fucking early?"

Eriol started laughing for no apparent reason.

"What the fuck's up with you?"

"You. You're hilarious when agitated."

"Glad to be of humble entertainment." Sakura seethed through her teeth as she grabbed his neck and squeezed the daylights out of him.

"Glad someone's beating the shit out of my stupid cousin while I'm not around." A voice said from outside the car. Sakura stopped what she was doing but still held tightly onto Eriol's now thin neck in her hands as she stared up at the magnificence just outside her window.

Syaoran stood, holding suit cases, grinning at Sakura in the most beautiful manner.

Sakura grinned weakly as she spoke, "Ahh shucks darling, don't make me blush."

Syaoran chuckled as he opened the door and sat beside her.

Sakura still clutched lethally at Eriol's neck.

"So this must be the girl Sakura you've been talking about so much lately on the phone Eriol." Syaoran assumed right.

Eriol tried helplessly to speak but his oxygen was cut off.

"Sakura, I think that should be enough discipline for now." Tomoyo sweat dropped and watched Sakura reluctantly let go of Eriol's neck.

There was silence in the car except for Eriol's constant hyperventilation.

"Oh stop being a cry baby Eriol and drive the god damn car." Sakura told him.

Eriol went through the list of torturing he could set upon Sakura as he started to drive away.


End file.
